Is it time to let go?
For almost two years, I used a phone with a badly cracked screen. The irony is that the screen cracked the day after I bought the phone.
What followed was a frustrating experience with the insurance coverage that was supposed to address situations like this. Despite doing what was required of me, including paying the deductible, I never received the resolution I expected.
Eventually, I had to pay for someone else to put an adhesive over the damaged screen so that I could continue using the phone safely without risking being cut by the broken glass.
And so, I carried on.
For over two years.
I learned to read around the cracks. If part of a word was obscured, I used context to figure out what it probably said. I learned to watch videos despite sections of the screen being difficult to see. When I handed my phone to someone to take a photograph, I would tell them to disregard the cracks and focus on the button they needed to press. If I needed to show someone something on my screen, there was sometimes an explanation that came with it.
I adapted as best as possible. But recently, I decided it was time to replace the phone.
Looking at the clear, bright screen of my new phone has been surprisingly thought-provoking. I had not fully realized how accustomed I had become to compensating for the old one.
And somewhere between looking at the old cracked screen and adjusting to the clarity of the new one, I realized that the experience had taught me a few things that have very little to do with phones.
Lesson 1: Just because you have learned to work around something does not mean it’s working for you
Human beings can be remarkably adaptable. We find workarounds. We compensate. We adjust our expectations. We figure out how to keep functioning when circumstances are less than ideal.
That ability can be a tremendous strength. However, there is a difference between adapting to a situation and accepting that it should remain your situation.
I became very good at navigating my cracked screen. In fact, some of the adjustments became almost automatic. I didn’t consciously think about how much additional effort I was making because I had been doing it for so long.
The same thing can happen professionally and personally. We can become skilled at navigating inefficient systems, unhealthy dynamics, outdated expectations, limiting beliefs or circumstances that continually require us to compensate.
Sometimes those adaptations are necessary, particularly during difficult seasons, but sometimes we need to ask ourselves: Am I adapting because this is what I need to do right now, or have I simply become accustomed to something that is no longer working for me?
Those are not the same thing.
Lesson 2: Letting go of what no longer serves you can also mean releasing the baggage attached to it
My old phone wasn’t simply a damaged device. It had a story attached to it, which I told you in the opening paragraph.
There was frustration. Disappointment. The experience of doing what I was supposed to do and still not receiving the outcome I expected. Every time I looked at that cracked screen, some part of that history was still physically present.
Eventually, I had to recognize that holding on to the phone wasn’t going to change what had happened. At the same time, replacing it didn’t mean that what happened was suddenly acceptable. This distinction matters.
Sometimes we hold on to things because letting go feels as though we are excusing what happened, conceding defeat or allowing someone else to “get away with” something. However, release doesn’t have to mean any of those things.
We can acknowledge what happened, learn from it and still decide that we don’t want to keep carrying it.
There are things we carry professionally and personally long after they have stopped serving us: disappointments, missed opportunities, difficult workplace experiences, outdated versions of ourselves, expectations that no longer fit, resentment about how something unfolded, or the need for a situation to be resolved exactly as we believe it should be.
Not everything gets resolved neatly. Sometimes closure comes from deciding that an unresolved experience will no longer have permission to occupy so much space in our present. Replacing my phone became symbolic of that for me.
I could keep looking through the cracks because I had learned how to do it…Or I could release what was attached to them and move forward.
Lesson 3: After living with the cracks for long enough, you may have to relearn what clarity feels like
When I started using my new phone, I immediately noticed the difference. The screen was clear. The resolution was better. I could see everything without mentally compensating for the cracks. And yet, because I had lived with the damaged screen for so long, the new experience almost required an adjustment of its own.
That made me think about what happens after difficult or limiting seasons of life. We often talk about resilience as the ability to endure, recover and continue moving forward. We talk less about what happens when the difficult season ends including how to navigate welcomed positive changes.
Sometimes we have become so accustomed to compensating, protecting ourselves, lowering expectations or navigating around obstacles that we carry those behaviours into environments where they are no longer necessary. We may need to relearn what it feels like to operate without constantly compensating.
To expect something better.
To receive support.
To recognize possibilities.
To experience ease without distrusting it.
To see clearly without instinctively searching for the cracks.
Moving forward is not always simply about getting something new. Sometimes it involves learning how to experience the new without allowing the old to dictate our expectations.
What are you still looking at through the cracks?
My cracked phone served me for over two years. I’m grateful that I found a way to make it work when I needed to. However, I am equally grateful that I eventually recognized when it was time to let it go. There is a season for adapting. There is a season for persevering. There is also a season for releasing, restoring and moving forward.
Perhaps the question isn’t simply, “Can I continue living with this?”
We are capable of learning to live with many things.
A better question might be:
“Is this something I should continue carrying into where I’m going next?”
And perhaps another:
“What could I see differently if I were no longer looking at what comes next through the cracks of what came before?”
It is time for healing and restoration as replace the cracks and wounds of life.
Michelle Gibson-Morgan is a Learning & Talent Development Leader, Coach, Career Development Consultant, Change Management Practitioner and Talent Management Practitioner. Michelle is one of Canada’s Top 100 Black Women to Watch in 2022 and an award-winning published author of career and leadership books. She is a 2023 Women of Inspiration™ Award Winner and 2026 Global Impact Award Nominee. Her core values are excellence and impact. Her expertise in learning & leadership development, change management, talent management and career development are highly sought-after.
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